Tips from a busy house: The Roaster Chicken

One of my purposes for this blog is to give you tips when dealing with an over scheduled home. One great tip is the roaster chicken.

A staple on my grocery list is a $4-$5 bird that I bring home and cook the day before trash day. (Planned for the chaos of smelly trash!)

I cook a chicken at least once a week, but this is a meal without a plan. This is emergency food and when you have 7 people in one house you need these kinds of emergency foods.

The chicken is a crock pot item, so no work is taken in its preparation. When it is cooked I shred it up and store it in the refrigerator. Often times it becomes chicken salad for lunch for my husband (who's lunch I pack daily) and my lunch, as I work from home. Because it's ready to serve and only needs to be warmed it is a great warmer-upper meal when the family is running from one event to another. Stir in some BBQ sauce and slap it on a bun for an easy BBQ chicken sandwich. Throw it on a salad, mix it up with cheese and corn tortillas for chicken enchiladas, warm it up and serve it as the main course.

Proteins are so important, and so many times when we are running we grab that easy bite to eat. If good lean proteins are in our fridge and ready to heat it is much easier to keep our meals and snacks healthy!

So next time you're at the store spend $4-$5 on an emergency meal instead of $20 on a Super Sized value meal that will just make your family super sized.

Leading by example

I am one of the most horrible organizers ever! I'm more comfortable with a stack of papers than I am having it all tidy. I say I get this honestly. My mother is a piler (though, in her defense...she is not untidy at all.) My father is a piler! On grand scale!! My paternal grandmother was a hoarder (yes...like you see on TV and then look around your own house and say "this isn't so bad.") And my maternal grandmother, well, she's a collector of all memories. How do I explain her? She's kept everything I've ever written to her, given to her, or any program she ever attended for me at school. Mind you, this all is coming back to me now. You never leave grandma's house without a bag of stuff. But she lives in a house the size of three of my bedrooms. I'm talking small. She's not untidy or filthy. Everything has always had a place, so where does she keep this stuff?

I digress, which is usually my problem when it comes to organizing my house.

I was telling my bestie the other day that when I'd taken out the Christmas decorations I'd had a come to God moment. First of all, I'm visual. I have to see it all out to know what's going on. So I have empty drawers and closets in my house. You know, those places you'd usually put things so they were stored away? But I'm a lover of organizational items. So I have all these empty boxes, baskets, etc for me to put all this stuff away in. Yet... I still have piles so I can see them. YIKES! I'm a buyer of things, and not a users. And this part hit me...I don't use it because it'll be gone. OMG...how dumb is that!

This year the big Christmas tree had to find a new home since we'd rearranged rooms this past year. It wouldn't fit in the family room. So the best option was to put it in what we call the BIG room, which is a room over the garage, my office, the computer room, and sometimes the TV room (when the TV isn't on the fritz.) This meant we had to tidy up this room, which can't be seen from any other place in the whole house. (I always wanted a house with a secret room, well...I have one!)

A glance at my room and I see crafts piled in a corner. Empty photo frames against the wall with 40 years of pictures next to the empty frames. (Sinking feeling in my stomach!) On the shelves are a mass of books that I've acquired from conferences, most of which I'm never going to read. And then there are the 200 VHS tapes. Really?

Start the decluttering!

The books were put into bags and taken out, to be given to my friends at a book club! The VHS tapes were divided into ones we need to get transferred, ones to go to a friend with a small child and a VHS player, the rest were either thrown out or given away.  The Christmas tree is up and it looks grand! But now I have clean pumping through my veins!!!

Next, I begin to tackle the laundry! Seven people live in this house. I'm sure you're cringing right now. Of course the problem isn't the laundry itself--it's the putting it away. Oh, I've had some clever tactics on this over the years, but that is a post for another day. So I got busy. I got that laundry put away and I emptied other hangers of clothes that hadn't been worn in years. My neighbor takes the boys' clothes to another friend of hers who distributes them to foster kids. Awesome...deed well done!

As I walked through a room, I'd take something with me. Going up the stairs...something gets put away. Going down, take more laundry.  No dishes in the sink! No piles on the counter (almost... I do have 5 kids bring in 5 sets of papers a day!)  Then it begins...the trickle down!

So I made sure to be very diligent with my kids this week and help them before bed. We've kept the TV off. Homework has gotten done, I suppose because I'm not complaining about the mess! Then I said, "Let's take just ten minutes and pick up your rooms a little. I'll help." The elder sons aren't too bad. Son 3, not too bad, mom can stand it, but it looks better now. Son 4...YIKES!!! but we made a path and we are making progress. Son 5...went...to...town! This kid got the bug! He picked up what I told him to pick up. He kept going and going and going! His clothes were laid out for the next day. The room was great (for a 7 year old). He's made his bed everyday since! Last night he vacuumed his room and my room (because see, there were no piles of laundry!) They see that I'm on this kick, and when things aren't piling in on me, I'm not on them about their piles.

It is amazing what a little effort on the part of one person will do for the others. I've always said I'm raising future husbands. They can unload a dish washer. Their father is the primary chef at our house, so they cook. If they need something washed, they know how to wash it. So, if I can still salvage what is left of their childhood, and my years as an adult with some of my mental capacity still left, I will send these men into the world who know how to take it out and put it away. We are a LOOOOONNNNNG way from perfection, but I see a change happening and I'm happy. And to think, (yes I acknowledge the bad habit too) but it all started with me taking the first step.

Post Election thoughts...not on the President

So the election at our house was interesting. The kids had a ball learning about what an incumbent was, why some states had more electoral votes than others, and while you're cruising CNN's website all sorts of things pop up that kids can ask questions about.

There was an interactive map you could click and make states win for certain candidates  They had a lot of fun with that.  Likewise they enjoyed watching numbers shift from minute to minute.

Now you'd think I could rant about who ran for President, the tax increase, or the legalization of marijuana, but no. My complaint involves my kids and our schools!

Each of my children's  schools were polling places. The high school, middle school, and the elementary school. Now, I understand these are government buildings. I get that for years and years they have been polling places.  What I don't get is inviting the general public into our schools, during a school day, while my kids are there and letting them do their civic duty. Pedophiles and criminals have the right to vote. (I'll admit, I don't know the rule on where they have to vote.)

My point remains, this doesn't make one bit of sense to me.

Schools in the last thirteen years have really cracked down on security. Doors lock. You enter only one way. You check in...etc. I realize that the polling areas are usually away from the masses of kids, but Kindergarten loads and unloads at least twice a day. The kids have to go through the halls where the general public is to get to certain classes.

In our district our teachers are forced to have furlough days. Days where the county can't pay the teachers to come to school. So why not use election day as one of those days. How about the days we have "no student contact" days? Wouldn't it make sense for the teachers to have that day to get caught up and keep the kids away from those who are only there to vote?

Okay, maybe I'm silly. Well, no I'm not. I'm not the only person who considered keeping their kids home on election day.  Yes, I know. Not everyone can take off a Tuesday. I get it, I really do. But with our kids' safety at stake, isn't there a better place to have voting than in our schools?

This is just this momma's opinion and I have shared it. The best part about America is that I have the right to share it and you have the right to your own opinion. We don't have to be enemies if we don't see eye to eye, but as American's we are free to walk away and not agree.

Embrace your freedoms and if you think something needs to be changed go forth and begin that change.

Time to educate...ME!

My kids amaze me with the million and one questions they have. With the election season upon us there have been a million more questions that they have asked. The funny part is that I don't know these answers. I've been asked all sorts of questions about past presidents and why would marijuana be good or bad if it were legalized. Who was the last president to get only one term and why? How come the election is so close, were they all close?

Little things begin to move you into why did Nixon leave and who was Ford? So you go into the entire system of who would be president now if the President and Vice President left office.

What was Watergate?

So why vote Democrat this and Republican that?

So many questions.

It has been my resolution to keep track of these questions and find the answers (which are going to spur more questions.)  And this is the process of education for us all.

So much history happens in our life that it's not history, but to our children it is. We can tell them what we remember happening at those times, but if we, ourselves, knew why they happened it would be priceless.

So I'm on a quest to educate myself on the events that my children pick up on. Maybe by the next election I'll know what the heck is going on!

The Princess

I can't remember being many other things at Halloween other than a princess. In fact, I remember, and I must have been about four, having a Cinderella costume. Well for anyone who had the privileged of being born prior to 1980, you probably have the recollection of going to the store and buying your costume from a stack of boxes! Yes, with the plastic masks! Oh those were the days!

Realistically, you couldn't see out of the masks. I remember going trick-or-treating and my dad took our masks and cut the eye holes bigger. Okay... I get it. It is only as an adult that I remember the faces on the people who answered the doors that night. See we couldn't see ourselves in our deformed masks.  (It makes me laugh now.)

But one year Mom decided I should just go without the mask. So she did my make up and she put a beauty mark on my face with a eyebrow pencil. The love of the glamour of the princess was born!

I still have my dress she made me when I was five. I'm sure I wore it until the seams popped. Every year she'd make me a tin foil crown and a wand made from glittered pipe cleaner. Yep, I rocked the princess.

Even today, at the age of forty, I searched Disneyland for a Merida sweatshirt in my size. I stood in line to meet her until my boys gave out on me. (Okay... mommy gave up after 20 minutes and the line didn't move. I couldn't see forcing them to stand there so their mommy could have a picture with the princess...but they would have.)

Costume in a box

I only have boys, but oh, to dress up a princess...that would be a dream come true. So to my boys I apologize in advance. Your daughters will own every Disney Princess outfit out there, even if they don't want it. Sometimes you just have to let your mommy live out her dreams.

So I'll go about being the Princess in my house (because Queens are usually old and grumpy.) I will still dress up when I want to be glamorous and pretend I'm Princess Diana, Grace Kelley, or Kate Middleton. I will walk in parades (usually in my karate uniform) and I will wave as though you've all gathered to see me in my pretty dress...um black belt. I will still put the crown on top my Christmas tree, call myself a Warrior Princess, and live happily ever after with my very own Prince Charming. And this summer, on my forty-first birthday, I will still search for a Merida sweatshirt, and maybe by then they'll have them.

Until then, I'll keep digging through all my old, unsorted pictures until I find some of me dressed as a fairy princess and I'll remember my Cinderella mask with the eyes cut out.

Happy Halloween!

This Momma is T.I.R.E.D.

The month of October has sped by at a ridiculousness speed! This family of seven has been inundated with an over active hockey schedule (5 kids, 4 teams, 2 teams practice 4 times a week). An intense karate schedule (3 day black belt testing for 5 of us and now tournament this weekend for 6 of us.) Add in Halloween, parties, and one night where we could have gotten in classes and practices...now rescheduled because of trick-or-treating (by the organizations...not the parents.)

Today I came home after 1 1/2 hours in the car driving kids to school just to take a rest. My body is worn out and I'm a cranky mommy! The kitchen is a mess, the house looks worse, laundry is piled up, and go figure...I can't get my kids out of bed.

STOP!

A part of being an adult is getting it all done. But what we forget is if we are this tired, and we've been used to these kinds of schedules for a very long time, how must our kids feel?

Sure they are doing what they love to do. Hockey is their love. Karate is their discipline. Choir... orchestra...volunteering...etc.etc.etc. The list goes on and on for these kids!

Adults have some options (some times.) Flex days. Personal days. Work from home. What about our kids? I'm a bit old school sometimes. We have friends who will let their children sleep in if they need it. Take a day here and there, if they need it. I fight myself over it. On one hand, yes, I think kids should get that option. Especially the kids who are so busy, because they want to be. However, on the other hand, I fight with myself... you can't just take off from school!!!

Did I get to do this as a kid? ONCE! I was fifteen! Most years I had perfect attendance. However, my youngest son is seven and so busy... trust me, at seven I only had piano for one half hour on Thursdays and Brownies on Wednesdays after school. Back in the late 70's and 80's there was no homework...are you kidding me? Homework was for high school! Now my little guys have had homework since kindergarten.

If as adults we are as busy as we are and we weren't when we were children, where are our children going to end up? Maybe they won't notice that life swirls around them at a maddening pace. Maybe that'll be the norm.  Then again, maybe they will learn to balance fun and work since their life is fun with a lot of work.

I guess in the end I just hope they're happy and say, "Wow, Mom and Dad got us everywhere we wanted to go.  They sure are great!"

Yep...that's all I can hope for. When they are grown...I'll take a nap.

Martial Arts Testing, day 1

Every six months my family and I make the trek to Breckenridge, Colorado for a three day testing. Everyone in our family of seven is in martial arts, except for the husband, but his contribution is of black belt level.

What does this journey entail? A pre-exam, which points out that you didn't train hard enough during the summer! suddenly muscle memory forms and defenses are all mixed up. This exam is followed by eight weeks of prep work. What does that mean? It means you teach classes, you take lower belt classes, and you are expected to spar. There is community service to be done, books to be read, reports to be written, and self discipline to be had! All of this in addition to your regular schedule of classes etc.

Now it sounds like a lot. Okay, it is a lot. I have done some cycles where the moment was over I was sick in bed for weeks. The lower the belt, sometimes the harder you work. But is it worth it? Oh heck yeah!

Let me tell you what I have seen from my children while in martial arts.  My eldest was 5 when he started. Granted we moved to our current school when he was 7 and he started all over. This child didn't start martial arts because he wanted to kick and punch. He started because he wanted the self discipline he knew came with martial arts. Wow! How many of us could say that in adulthood? He still struggles with this, but what he learned was hard work and respect. He was 8 when I got my first parental phone call from a  mom who stepped outstide with me after a party at her house to tell me this. "Your son is welcome at my house anytime. I have never come across a more polite child in my life."

Tell me, how can you top that?

My next son was drawn in by brother, and our Grand Master who gave him a uniform and said try it out for a few weeks.  Well let me tell you about this kid. At 6 his sense of competitive had already kicked in! Sure, he'd do it. And he'd do it better than his brother. (In time this kiddo did outrank his brother, but hockey became his love. This weekend, with his older brother, they make one step closer to 3rd degree black belt, and they are amazing hockey players...because of karate.)

My twins started the day after they turned 3. Yes the day after.  They were in a program called Little Dragons.  My thought was, if you could learn self-discipline and respect at the age of 3 where could you go in life? 

My littlest joined at 3 1/2. He has been the guy inching his way along. Now a High Red belt some of his friends are going for very significant ranks, but it happens.  As some of us test for high ranks some of us are forgotten.  When it appeared that one of his friends would pass him up because our testing became so important he didn't get there he said, "It's fine, Mom. I'll get there." This one has learned patience!

As for me. I was a girly girl growing up, but I have to admit, something inside me always wanted to wear a black belt. Oh, I wasn't the kind to want to walk into a Do Jon and my mother wasn't the kind who would have taken me either. That was boy stuff.  But six months after my oldest sons started they had a promotion. I got on the floor. I was the mother of five. A chronic entrepreneur who hadn't found exactly the right thing for me, and a horrible self sabotager, I was afraid of everything and everyone! It  was no way to live and show your kids they could do anything they wanted to do. Seven years later I will graduate with a second degree black belt. I have opened my own publishing house. I have taken my future of publishing my own books into my own hands and I am among my peers on bestsellers lists.  If I touch it it turns to gold because I have the drive, the self-discipline, and the respect of myself and others to get me there.

I am strong! I didn't know I could be, but I am. I can knock a 200lb man to the ground and make him hurt with a twist of his pinkie if I had to. I know what it feels like to be thrown to the floor and punched in the face. All of these things are important. And I'm glad I have these skills.  I have traveled by myself. I can walk into a crowded room and make friends, which I enjoy and couldn't have done before.  And I have an amazing family of friends making this same journey who are there to support me and my family in everything we do.

So martial arts is so much more than kicking and punching.  Today I will go with my family and test for day one.  We will review old forms and prove we still remember what we've learned, but in the end...it's what I've already done that make me feel as though I 've passed.  This momma doesn't quit anything anymore. She's a black belt and so are her kids!

Make a Horrible Noise!!!!

When I first began my journey into wanting to do a mommy blog I wanted to share with you the ins and outs of my daily life with five sons. But... I delayed and that was not the main topic that got me here today. No it took a tragedy to get the blog up and running.

I don't suppose there are many people in the country that do not know the name Jessica Ridgeway. Anyone in my neighborhood sure does.

This precious little 10 year old girl was take from our community with no reason. My friend teaches at her school. Fellow students at our karate school were in her class. My sister from another mother had her house searched because she lived on the block over from Jessica. And from my own home, I see the ridge where they found her body.

This came to close to home.

For almost a year now this community has been vigilant about keeping our eyes open. It was a year ago circulations from our schools and neighborhood communities came home alerting us to stranger danger. We had a man trying to grab children. This week alone we have had four more cases, after Jessica's death.

It came to mind that children aren't always quick to tell someone what has happened to them. The children and their parents who did come forward in these cases should be commended!  I know this information first hand because I was once approached by a man. I was six or seven and I had crossed the street from my neighbor's house. We'd been swimming and I was in my swim suit. He was in an green car, I can still see his face. He asked me if I knew what time it was.  I knew enough not to go toward the car. I said no and ran into my house. I told my mother there was a man who stopped outside, she was on the phone. She nodded. I went to my room and watched out the window. He came back, slowed down, drove away.

I often looked back at that day and wondered, why didn't my mom do something? Why? Because I didn't give her reason to worry because I didn't want to be wrong about what happened.

Likewise, she recently shared a story with me when I told her my story, some 30+ years later.

She'd convinced her mother to let her go shopping alone to buy a wallet at JC Penny. A man approached her and said, "Remember me? I took your sister out last weekend." "No," my mother said. "I don't have a sister." The man insisted he knew her and he'd be glad to give her a ride home. "No. I have my bike." He said they could put it in the trunk, but my mother was diligent to say no.  She never told anyone that story because she'd never get to go anywhere again.

How common is this tale? How often do our kids skirt danger and are afraid they have judged someone wrong, or maybe just because they were scared it didn't mean the person meant them harm.

But sometimes it does.

This doesn't have to be a stranger you've never seen who has one crossed eye and a limp. This could be your babysitter, your coach, your generous uncle. Children need to be taught that they are never wrong in these situations. They have gut feelings too!

With that said, I'm a HUGE advocate about YOU WILL NEVER DIE FROM EMBARRASSMENT! Assume, as a child, you do tell your mom a man has stopped and asked you the time. Assume you did make a big deal about it and she called the cops! Sure, they might find him and ask him for his I.D. Maybe he didn't realize that was the wrong thing to do. Maybe they'll have tracked down a child killer.  Turn and run? Kids do it to me all the time when I ask them to clean something up. But they'd never do it to a stranger, just because we've taught them to be polite.  Well there are times its okay to not put your manners on and get the heck out of there if you don't feel right. If you did make a mistake no one will blame you. And you won't die from embarrassment.

Make noise.  Scream FIRE!  Everyone will run to watch a fire! Find help. Mother's are good to find. They have kids and will want to help you.

If someone is trying to grab you don't be quiet. Draw attention to the situation. Most of the time the person will let go if people are going to turn and look.

Kids should know how to use their voice to get out of bad situations, whether it be talking to the right person or making the most horrible of noises to get attention.

Let your kids know that there is no wrong when you don't feel right. AND if you, mom or dad, don't listen because our lives are really crazy, teach your kids to be their own advocate. Friends, teachers, ministers...they are all there and sometimes they hear what us parents can't.

Let your kids know friends, good or not, are allies when we are faced with people like we are here in Arvada and Westminster. Strength in numbers.  Now is not the time to be quiet and alone.  Walk, if you must, to school in packs. Play, in packs. Run...in a pack.

Kids and parents shouldn't be afraid. However, if we continue to live our lives like that...we are victims too.

As a martial artist I do have some things to share on this topic further. But for now I leave you with this...Make a noise for Jessica. Never forget her.

Bernadette Marie...Mother of 5...making a noise!

Oh wise one!

Welcome to my blog. I've talked about putting this up for years...and here it is.

I have five sons who currently range in age from 7-14. (Yes if you counted that...there are only 7 years from top to bottom!) I am very often the go to girl for mommy questions on everything from breastfeeding to mapping out Disneyland. (both I have been very efficient in!)

I feel I do have a lot to offer in the ways of balancing children and careers. (I've had multiples of each)

So please join me, and my friends, as I take you on a journey...the way I do it.

And remember Mom is the code word for EVERYTHING!!!!

~Bernadette~